Off Lately, I was selected for an internship program with WYA, which is a partner organization to UN. To glorify my stand on that, I was only the second Indian to have been selected for it, wherein I had an opportunity to be sent to New York as a WYA ambassador to attend a few conferences in the downtown Manhattan, presided over by some top shot diplomats from around the world and a real life opportunity to undergo a human rights training for two months in a plush city of Philippines.
From that preceding paragraph, one could always draw that the selection procedure for such a program would really have been tough but what followed and also follows in this section was even tougher for me as a human, as a student and as an ‘Engineer’ moreover.
I always believed right from the time of applying for this program, that going in for a program like this would change my life for better. I needed a leave from my college for 2.5 months to pursue that premiership program with United Nations. But I was slow on pondering on one of the worst practices in my nation which is goes by the fact that for people here it is easier to get selected for such competitive and lucrative offers , but difficult enough to get facilitators here on our side to let us go into pursuing such premiership programs. On the contrary, you will get enough discouragement, that if you have a weak hole anywhere in you that would be stuffed with enough matter to not let you think of any such thing in future. Anyways, I don’t have any such hole to take care of me for my future endeavors. So, I got the letter precisely stating to assure me of all my expenses and accommodation, in case I decided to come down to Philippines – well placed in the soft hands of my IIT graduated Dean, those very soft hands in control of that malevolent mind, the mind that devises policies and protocols to rid students like me of the development that could not be comprehensible to him in his age. A sharp reader and an IITan by the more famously given designation, he couldn’t take time perusing through and refused immediately to grant any official leave, taking in concern the tremendous opportunity and the grandeur name of UN at the world arena. No fucking good effort could persuade him.. If I have to tell the truth, I really had not time for the next few days but to curse the dean.
But today in the juxtaposition of retrospection and introspection, I find very less reasons to curse him. So, I feel better. But, since I am no more cursing him, then where has the blame shifted? To whom? ‘is what my conscience asks’……The only question that when being answered truthfully and thoughtfully, solves all my problems is that- “Why the fuck am I pursuing Engineering, when this isn’t what I wanna be doing?” And I wonder the answer is equally important and relevant to another million useless engineers of my country, who just delve into pursuing it because either they don’t know what else to pursue or they simply fall in the footsteps of other fools. In short, they have no idea of what they wanna be pursuing. Whose fault is it anyways? Is it Mine? How could a person who’s not driving in general be blamed for an accident.
The Indian education system sits on top of this shit– if you were to take my word on that. Almost every second of us doesn’t have any clear idea of what he wants to do after his/her 12th standard in school and I mean it. We have enough options but no practical estimation of the worth and information of the consequences of a particular career or interest. We all have probably quite prolifically answered the question being posed to us by our elders, since we were children which went something like this-“What do you wanna become when you grow up?” And we have often answered that in ways more intuitive than thoughtful and seems like, that somehow becomes a way of choosing our career.
Well to be loud, the change from about 15 years of continuous generalized studies to streaming in one specific field is tough enough for a 17 year old, who often ends up thinking that the opportunities are wide when you are young. It is often easier discussed than decided and as a result he often applies the formula of choosing the least obnoxious option for him, merely neglecting the more important criteria which often bug him at a later stage. I see an utter need for change, simply because I don’t want to be an engineer and I am pursuing it today.
The father of the nation once said-“Be the change you wanna see around”
Mr. Gandhi please give me some enlightenment to help me be the change to fix this quandary, because I see no way out and feel more helpless than ever.
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